


Open When...

by hyunghyukcult



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, HyungHyuk - Freeform, Long-Distance Relationship, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love Letters, M/M, best friend turns to lover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunghyukcult/pseuds/hyunghyukcult
Summary: it's time.it's really about time.so Lee Minhyuk finally opens the first letter from all those letters Chae Hyungwon had given him.to his surprise, Hyungwon turned out to be that romantic guy he ever dreamed of.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 49





	1. Open When I'm Away for Business Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon is away for another business trip, and Minhyuk was supposed to get used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! this will be my first fic, i used to have au on twt only, but i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it :") i will leave out the prompt i posted on twitter on the end notes! for this story, each chapter will be list down Hyungwon's letter to Minhyuk, and here is the first one Minhyuk opens.
> 
> happy reading all!

"Tomorrow."

"What?"

"Yes, I really have to go tomorrow, Minnie.." Hyungwon chose to blurt out this news the moment Minhyuk arrived at their apartment.

"But, you said you will be there for my performance!" Minhyuk tries hard to hide all his tears, but the way his nose lets out a sniff betrayed himself.

"Please, please don't cry.... I'm so sorry, okay? I didn't know they ask me to go tomorrow. I thought the business trip will take next week, but they changed the plan." Hyungwon reaches out his boyfriend into his embrace, kissing Minhyuk's temple to soothe him down. He keeps whispering 'sorry' as he feels his tee getting wet.

"You never missed one," Minhyuk said in between his sniffs. He buries his head in Hyungwon's chest as he realizes he shouldn't cry that bad. Maybe, just maybe, he had a bad mood lately, and got tired because of practicing. And the fact that Hyungwon won't be there to see what he has been preparing, he feels gloomy all of a sudden.

"I know and I'm so sorry for that, Minnie. I promise I'll make it up to you when I get back, okay, baby?" Hyungwon cups Minhyuk face in his palms and wipes out the tears from his eyes.

Minhyuk nods slowly and forms a smile on his lips. They hug each other for a while and share a very comfortable silence.

"Let's eat, I'm starving, I'll help you pack after this, Won.." says Minhyuk as he slings off his bag and puts it on the nearest drawer.

"Humm." Hyungwon helps Minhyuk takes off his cardigan and guides him to the dining table. Dinner is ready, Hyungwon ordered pizza as he knew he will drop a bad news to Minhyuk, so at least he thought bought his boyfriend's favorite food will ease down the sadness.

He was right. Minhyuk's eyes lighten up the moment he sees the big pepperoni pizza on the table served with some fries and sausages. He looks up to his boyfriend with a loving eyes and let himself hugs Hyungwon again and steals a peck from his lips. "I love you," he whispers in between their lips.

They both take seats on the dining table, eat up the pizza as well as sharing their days. Minhyuk enthusiastically tells Hyungwon about the performance he prepared with Kihyun, his best friend since they are in high school age. They did a recording session as well, since they will start to sell their records to some companies. In three days, Minhyuk will be having his mini concert again with Kihyun. It's the fourth time now and will be the first performance when Hyungwon won't be there to cheer for him. His eyes are glimmering everytime he shares about his doing--singing and performing; and that's what makes Hyungwon never fall out of love from him. He listens to Minhyuk very well, pay attention to every detail his baby had to tell and ask several questions regarding it. Like how many songs will Minhyuk sing, is it a solo or duo, will there be any other performers, and other things to make Minhyuk tells more. But, Minhyuk also knows when to stop. He needs to know about Hyungwon's life as well.

"So, what conference will you attend for the next 7 days, Wonnie?"

"It's about developing products related to digital financing. So it's finance and IT combined. Since the manager asked me to take lead of the next project in the digital product so they assigned me to be there along with Changkyun."

"Ah, Changkyunie will be there too? Bet Hoseok-hyung will be tagging along…?"

"That… we still don't know yet because Hoseok said he needs to take care of other project as well here."

"Please bring me home stroopwafels. A lot of it," Minhyuk grin his teeth ear to ear getting a nod and understanding smile from his lover.

"Since when you love sweet things so much?" Hyungwon saying a rhetorical question and they both let out a giggles.

"So should I drop you by the airport?"

"Nope. The company car will pick me up at 6 early in the morning, you just need to help waking me up."

"....Eye-- I thought I can get more sleep.." Minhyuk fakes a whine.

"I thought so too, but you love me too much to let me miss the flight." He winks. That is Minhyuk's weakness. So he knows too well his boyfriend will wake him up tomorrow.

***

After some hours of sleep, Minhyuk wakes up found himself being trapped in Hyungwon's arms. The other held him from behind so he couldn't see his face. He shifts slowly and carefully so he won't wake his boy, and get ready a simple breakfast for him. A scrambled egg, with bacon and toast.

It's still so early, the sky is still a bit dark outside, but Hyungwon has to take a shower before he goes, so Minhyuk wakes him up at 5.

"Baby, take a shower now… I made breakfast already, so you can eat after that before you go. So get up now…"

“Kiss me first,” Hyungwon whining refuses to get up.

“No. You will drag me back to the bed, so get up, please…”

“Minnie, please, we won’t meet each other for the next seven days. Let me cuddle you before I go.”

“I do want too Wonnie, but it’s 5 o’clock already and in an hour you will be picked up. So no.”

Hyungwon grunts under his breath and get himself up, sit by the corner of the bed. Minhyuk stand in front of him and kiss his temple, whisper, "let's take a shower."

They both then enter the bathroom, taking shower together. A usual thing that they do but each time still gives each other shivers. A calmness and nervousness combined. A beating heart and stable breathing. Lovely hands caressing each others' body, share each others' warmth, and the intimacy is beyond lust. They kiss, they hug, they touch, they laugh and be in love. "I love you," Hyungwon whisper in between their sealed lips.

"I do too."

It's breakfast time after they get dress. Hyungwon eats in a very good mood and Minhyuk feel grateful for that. Knowing that his baby always appreciate his cooking even though it is just a simple dish.

"Gonna miss your cooking for a whole week."

"Only for a week, Wonnie."

"Still. A torture."

"Hyperbole," Minhyuk scoffs as he rolls his eyes.

"I am telling you the truth. Yours feels like home, and that doubles the tastiness." Hyungwon spreads a smile on his face. Minhyuk returns the smile and finish their eat.

***

It's time.

Straight at six, Hyungwon's phone is ringing. Changkyun's name appears.

"Kajaa!" the voice behind the phone said.

"Hi, Changkyun, please take care of my baby."

"Oh hi Minhyuk-hyung!! I will. Sure. Of course."

"Is Hoseokie-hyung coming along?"

"Nope. He'll be doing other project here."

"Okay, Hyungwon is at the toilet, 10 minutes he'll be downstairs."

"Alright, hyung! Take care, okay?"

"Hummm.."

Hyungwon out from the toilet the moment Minhyuk puts down his phone. Raising his eyebrows, he opens his arms asking for a hug. Minhyuk runs towards him and let himself melt in Hyungwon's warmth. "Take care, call me text me anytime you think of me, let me know when you are getting ready for the performance, I will cheer for you like i always did. I love you Minnie, goodluck baby."

"You too, Wonnie. I'll be waiting for you at home."

Hyungwon kisses his temple, soft and long. Then he goes out. Minhyuk, as always, refuses to go down along. The goodbye remains in their apartment door.

He checks on the time, 6.15. Go back to sleep is his choice after texting Kihyun.

" _Lunch with me tomorrow?_ "

" _At usual? I'll be there at 12.30_ "

" _Yes, okay._ "

***

“So, Hyungwon won’t be attending our performance?”

“Nope…”

“Ah, that’s sad. I’m about to introduce you guys to someone actually.”

“Wow, finally! Yoo Kihyun has a boyfriend!”

“Shut up will you.”

“So who?”

“You’ll find out soon.”

It’s been a day and yet Minhyuk is already missing Hyungwon’s presence and Kihyun happened to be his go-to guy since forever--since what so called best friend over highschool years from day one to the last day of college graduation till now. Those whole time, Kihyun wasn’t actually has someone to be taken care of or someone to go on a date with, some crushes, but not one serious relationship that he introduced to Hyungwon and Minhyuk who ended being a couple in their last year of college.

Kihyun never mind, he really loves hang-out with the two, mostly with Minhyuk only because Hyungwon will always be the busy one beside them two. Also, he has different interests while Minhyuk and Kihyun been having collaborations since their last year of high school non-stop talking about music, producing, and performing. So most of the time they were out without Hyungwon, is nothing else than talking about projects and practicing together.

“Hyungwon says hi. He said please take care of me.”

“Tell him to tell me other things. We are best friends for years, yet he always talking about you and you only to my face. And those same things over and over every time he goes on a trip.” Kihyun pretends to be mad and hurt.

“Hahahahaha Ki, you know him, he loves you too. I’ll tell him you said hi.”

“Tell him to come back soon so I don’t have to accompany you every time.”

“Yaa! You meanie.”

“No, YOU, Minnie.”

“Only Hyungwon can call me that.”

***

At night, Minhyuk put on earphones connected with his laptop, searching for some Netflix series when his phone lights up. A phone call.

“Hello, is this Lee Minhyuk?”

“Yes, and you are?”

“I’m calling on behalf Chae Hyungwon. You happened to be his emergency call number. We are from the hospital…….”

Minhyuk’s heart stops beating for a while. His eyes wide shocked. His lips trembling. His tears forming. All the words fills in to his ears couldn’t be process as his mind blank out.

***

#####  _#1: Open When I'm Away for Business Trip_

_It's never easy to go. I hope you know that. Knowing that my days won’t be filled with your laughter, your husky voice, your soothing sound when you sing, or your heavy breath when you asleep next to me._

_It’s never easy to see me go. I know you feel that. But I know you will always be waiting at home. I’ll be welcomed with warmth, with dinner on the table prepared, and the soft kiss I have been missing will fill my heart with love. And that’s all come from you and always you. I hope will forever be you._

_Well, this is what I choose for a living, Minnie and I'm glad you support me always to the fullest. I can never imagined myself if I had a clingy boyfriend like super glue clingy not like your type of clingy--annoyingly cute clingy. That would be a disaster, right? Glad that we are always one call away from each other. During this digital era, seeing your face is still possible but still, it’s not the same way of me able to touch you._

_I learn a lot during these times, when we are separated by distance. I bet you are too. Got ourselves stuck in between time zones and jet lag weren’t easy at first. I remember our first big fight during my business trip in Japan and how that lead us to ignoring each other the whole time I was away only to miss others’ presence so much when I got back. That one time was a nightmare. Thought I’m losing you when I flew back to town, glad it was only in my mind._

_I learn that being away from you helps me to appreciate times I have when you are around, being away from you proofs that distance builds our relationship stronger, being away from you makes me understands that sometimes love does need spaces. Trust and communication are what we develop better and better through time and glad that I’m working on it with you, all together. So here is another trip I take, hope we learn another lesson._

_Minnie, be patient for some times more, okay?_

_I’ll be back in no time, I’ll be home in your arms. As always._

_xoxo,_

_Your Wonnie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, [here](https://twitter.com/chaemin151311/status/1211168874319605762) is the original prompt :)
> 
> catch up with me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chaemin151311/) and [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/chaemin151311)


	2. Open When You Have a Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmare is Minhyuk biggest enemies, and Hyungwon knows that all too well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to confuse you guys, but there are some plots that is back and forth from this chapter and on. i won’t write it on top of the part which one is the past or present, but i hope you guys will get it by the end of this story.

Hyungwon had just arrived in Australia, the first conference would be held in Melbourne. Quite a long flight, so he felt kinda tired cause lack of sleep as he couldn’t sleep well during in the air. So he went straight to the hotel along with Changkyun. They both got one big room for two, with two single bed, a bathtub in the bathroom, a sofa and tv.

“Hyung, have you turned on your phone?” Changkyun said as he checked on his own, he was frowning.

“No, not yet. Why?” Hyungwon a bit worried looking at Changkyun’s expression.

“It’s Minhyuk-hyung, he….” He didn’t finish his sentence as Hyungwon snatched his phone right away at the mention of his boyfriend's name. Hyungwon read the messages carefully and when he finally processed what happened he smirked and let out a giggled. Changkyun did too as they both shared eye contact.

Hyungwon gave back Changkyun’s phone and took his own and turning it on. His notifications immediately appeared without stopping. There were around 30 messages on Ktalk, the same way on Whatsapp, 20 miss-calls, even several mentions on Twitter from his panicked boyfriend, Lee Minhyuk. 

The last message he received was, ‘ _call me, even if you are alive or not._ ’ So he immediately dialed Minhyuk’s number waiting for the other to answer.

“FOR GOD SAKES! CHAE HYUNGWON I’M DEADLY SCARED. HOW COULD YOU!!”

“Hi, baby, what a way to greet me,” Hyungwon couldn’t hide his chuckles.

“SHUT UP. I’M STILL NERVOUS.”

“But you relieved.”

“Yes……” Hyungwon could hear his boyfriend breath slowly getting back to normal.

“Mind to tell me what happened?”

“You haven’t opened my messages?”

“Would it be more necessary than calling you right away?”

“Ah, true. Just, had a nightmare.”

“What kind of nightmare?”

“Losing you.”

“But I’m here.”

“I know! But the sound of my phone ringing and a number from the hospital lit there still haunting me. Yet I couldn’t reach. How am I supposed to not worried when they said you are having an accident AND DYING.”

“Minhyuk, you watch too much drama.”

“No. It’s realistic. Not only in drama those kind of things might happen.” Hyungwon could sense his boyfriend was sulking right now. 

“Minnie..?”

“Hm?”

“Stop sulking. I’m here now.”

“No you are afar.”

“Stop sulking please. Don’t be sad anymore. I am here, okay?”

“From now on you should call or text me before you sleep or when you commute! Please!”

“Aye-aye captain...” Hyungwon teased, try to ease down his boyfriend nerve.

“Seriously, that was the worst dream I have ever had,” Minhyuk couldn’t hide his mixed feelings. It felt surreal last night when a stupid storyline crept into his mind.

“I’m fine Minnie, I’m still here. Now, we just arrived at the hotel, waiting for the conference at 12. I kinda need more sleep, talk to you again later, okay? Stay safe, baby. Miss you!”

“Hmm, alright, Won. I’m gone for practice. Miss you more here..”

“Ah okay, have fun, Min.”

They ended the phone call. Minhyuk walked entering the piano room and his best friend was there already sitting preparing to play some music.

***

“Glad that he’s okay. I was shocked that you freaked out like that last night,” said Kihyun as they walked side by side heading to a cafe after done practicing.

“I’m sorry to bother your sleep, Sir.”

“Haha, it’s okay Min, I would do the same if I were in your position.”

“By the way, what do you think I should give him on birthday, Ki? It’s a month to go but I haven’t got any idea.” They both entering the cafe.

“Well…a scrapbook maybe? You said you would love to make one for your lover.”

“Oh my how come you still remember that? I said that during high school, right?”

“No. You said over and over actually. Hell, I don’t know why you never give Hyungwon one of that cheesy thing you ever dream of doing.”

“Well, Hyungwon loves cheesy thing,” Minhyuk eyes wandered to the outside street while saying it.

“You expect him to be like that too, aren’t you?” Kihyun noticed the countenance changes in Minhyuk’s. But he got to say, “that’s never gonna happen, Lee, wake up. You are dating an ice cold prince, yet he is only care to touch you in softness.”

“At least I have one, Ki.” Minhyuk let out his tongue, teased Kihyun.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Kihyun felt offended.

“You should date someone!! I’m waiting for a double date moment, yet you always pleased yourself with one night stand or some stupid get a long for one time thing.”

“For now, I am happy that way,” he returned the tongue tease.

What Minhyuk didn’t know was that actually Kihyun is seeing someone, in a serious context, but the relationship status still in the grey area. So he didn’t tell him nor Hyungwon about anything. Let them judged his way of dating like always, at least he knew that both of his best friend care much about him that way.

***

The next few days, Minhyuk went practicing by himself at the dancing room, preparing for his performance. It wasn’t much, just a dance cover in a club, together with his long lost childhood friend who happened to be Changkyun’s high school best friend, Lee Jooheon. Later that night, he prepared himself for the performance, Kihyun coming along to the club to see his friend dancing. Or maybe, just to find someone to be brought home.

“So, will he be arrived tonight?” Jooheon asked Minhyuk about Changkyun when they both getting ready at the staff room.

“Supposed to, but seems like their flight is delayed. Miss him much?”

“Haha a bit. The last time I met him was months ago. He is so busy right now.”

“Yeah, back and forth with my boyfriend.”

“I see… Guess he’s into technology more than music now.”

“Changkyun? Music?”

“He took sound engineering in college once, but he postponed his study when his father collapsed and he had to take over the company for a while, guess after that he took tech and minoring in finance refer to his father specialty.”

“I just knew. No wonder he is so enthusiast every time me and Kihyun talk about music and producing.”

They both then got ready to the stage as the lights had been dimmed down and the music started to play the cue. They performed with for about two songs and Kihyun cheered for them until someone tapped his shoulder.

“Hey Ki!”

“Hyungwon! Thought you couldn’t make it.”

“Well, I’m here, since Changkyun insisted to see Jooheon as well.”

“Oh you know Jooheon?”

“It’s like you and Minhyuk, hyung..”

“Ah I see..”

When they finished perform, Minhyuk and Jooheon immediately changed and went out to meet Kihyun, not realizing that Hyungwon and Changkyun was with him through the rest of the last song.

They had fun in the bar, talked and shared stories in between the beers. The reunion between Changkyun and Jooheon also made them know more about each other, it’s nice knowing that they are mutuals with everyone there. They ordered drinks until they had enough. It’s Minhyuk low tolerance of alcohol that made them dispersed back when they were still conscious. Well, Jooheon was tipsy already so Changkyun took the initiative to drive him home to his apartment. Hyungwon took his boyfriend who busted already to Kihyun’s car and three of them went out of the bar.

“Thank you, Ki!”

“You sure you can handle him upstairs?”

“Yeah, I’ll managed. You drive safely, text me when you get home.”

“Bye, Won!”

Hyungwon held Minhyuk in his arm but the other kept standing unsteady. His legs became lumpy and he still not yet back to his conscious. So Hyungwon held him tighter as he dragged his boyfriend to enter the building. Reaching their floor, Minhyuk suddenly collapsed when Hyungwon lost a grip a bit.

“Minhyuk!”

***

“Minhyuk! Minhyuk!! Lee Minhyuk!” Kihyun voice getting louder as his friend’s sense still out of his mind. Minhyuk snaps back to reality the moment Kihyun waves his palm in front of his face.

“Drink this.” A glass of hot chocolate milk serves in front of him.

“No.”

“Please, you haven’t eaten anything since morning, don’t be like this. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for him.”

Minhyuk eyes wanders to find Kihyun as he turns his head towards his best friend. He doesn’t really remember how he ended up being at Kihyun place last night.

For as long as he remembers, his eyes are heavy with tears and he is losing his consciousness once he meet eyes with Kihyun. This morning when he woke up in Kihyun’s guest room a realization knocked his head and he is processing again about the heartbreaking news he just received. Kihyun opens his arm and pull Minhyuk into his embrace as he starts to cry again, the wails echoing in his apartment, stinging into his ears, and breaking his heart. It’s not a really pleasant view to see your best friend experiencing this.

“It’s just another nightmare, right Ki?”

The question hangs there without an answer and Kihyun just keeps caressing Minhyuk’s back, soothing him, as he eyeing to the bedroom door showing his bitter smile to Shownu who is standing with an understanding smile. After that, Minhyuk fall back to sleep again, until now when Kihyun forces him to wake up and drink hot chocolate.

A sound of knocking makes Minhyuk and Kihyun shifts his head to the door, Shownu opens slowly, and peeks his head. “May I?”

“Just come in, Nu..”

“Minhyuk, Hoseok is here.”

***

#####  _#2 Open When You Have a Nightmare_

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

_Do it again for 10 times before you continue, baby._

_When you open this means you are having a bad dream, and sadly I’m not there. I’m not there next to you to watch you sleep holding on to your fist, I’m not there to hug and cuddle you all night, I’m not there to calm you down and telling you it’s gonna be okay. So here’s me, through my words, hope it helps (even though only a bit, cause nothing gonna beat my presence, right?)._

_I remember and will never forget that one time you are having a nightmare about losing me. That will be totally the worst if it happens to me too. But hey Minnie, no matter what happen will always be yours so you will always have me in your heart as well._

_I know it’s a disaster to find yourself won’t be able to sleep in peace. Like your mind playing tricks with yourself, and I know it creeps into your mind when you are stressing about something or you are too tired physically. Hope you realize that too._

_Is there something going on in your mind? You can call me Minnie, or text me tell me the whole story, if that helps. It’s always a nice thing to listen to your nightmares, the stories build up in your unconscious mind, the ridiculous stuff show up inside your imagination. No, not that I mean I love seeing you in your bad state, but your beautiful mind is what I always adore. Like I can see you from another point of view, like I slowly understand how to handle you during these moments._

_I googled every part of your dreams, especially your nightmares to help me understand more about what is happening in your soul. Believe it or not, it soothe me down on handling your rants, your tears, your anxieties. I hope my presence did the same to you, baby._

_So, don’t ever hesitate to share your mind to me, Lee Minhyuk. I will always spare time listen to it, to you, to every story you had in your sleep. Cause it is beautiful, like you are._

_If you are tired, please take a rest. If you are anxious or nervous over something, drink some hot tea like I always serve you. If you have something that bothers your mind, write it down, and let the words rush out before you close your eyes and drive yourself to unconsciousness._

_And if you have a nightmare when I’m next to you, sleep with you, around you. Wake me up. I’ll let you sleep back in my arms. As I always wish to be._

_Good night, have yourself back to sleep with me inside your dream._

_Love, Wonnie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: i used past tense for the past plots  
> (LOL of course)
> 
> you can also message me here:  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chaemin151311) or [CuriousCat](https://t.co/rDIH0gL8Us)


	3. Open When You Feel Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “it's okay for you to get lost in your thoughts, as long as your heart is always long to come back home, i will be here. always.” That's what Hyungwon said, and Minhyuk hold on to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "warning": this chapter will be sad. :")

“What is it, hyung?” Kihyun takes over to start the conversation.

“Changkyun asked me to tell Minhyuk this in person,” Hoseok says as they all gather in Kihyun’s living room. He says it very carefully, knowing that every information will make Minhyuk’s heart ache. “Hyungwon,” he pauses as he sees Minhyuk flinches to the mention of his boyfriend’s name, “...they decide to take over his medication here. So, he will be taken by flight back to Seoul. Their arrival should be expected in two days.”

“Oh..” Minhyuk can’t find other words to respond but at least he feels relieved knowing his boyfriend is coming back here. Kihyun taking his hand gives a comforting gesture.

“Anything you want to know, before you see his condition?”

“T-The accident…. umm..h-how bad is it?” Minhyuk hesitate to ask but he feels the need to know. At least, he wants to know what to expect when he sees his boyfriend tomorrow.

“I might say 8 out of 10.” Hoseok chooses to not go on with details as he lowers his head.

“B-But will it be alright for him to be brought here?”

“They have conducted some early action and also need to handle some of the major injuries before they agree to let him go on a flight.”

Minhyuk actually wants to continue asking, about what kind of injuries that called ‘major’ but he bottles it up inside his thoughts. “So, will you take me on their arrival?”

“Sure. I’ll pick you up at 4 by your apartment.”

“No!! I’m staying here. I can’t be alone for now.” Kihyun, Shownu, and Hoseok were a bit surprised by Minhyuk's loud statement. They all nod in unison, two as an act of approval, and one as an agreement.

“Okay, Minhyuk, see you in two days then? I’m sorry you both have to postpone your performance,” Hoseok stands up and gesturing to Minhyuk and Kihyun. Kihyun just smiles, saying, “It’s okay. It’s nothing commercial anyway. Thank you, hyung.” On the other side, Minhyuk just stays still in his position, sitting as he hides his face.

Kihyun and Shownu follow Hoseok to the front door and say goodbye. “Take care of him, will you? Changkyun is so worried about him.”

“Of course, we will,” Kihyun answers.

“Do you think he will be fine seeing him?” This time, Shownu is the one asking.

“He should be, even though it will be hard to see him in that state.” Hoseok giving them an assuring smile.

“By the way, since when you guys are a thing?” His sudden curiosity cannot be stop.

“Since...forever, I guess?” Shownu answers and let out a small chuckles.

“No way,” Kihyun slap his arms, “it’s only been four months.”

“Took you both a long time to admit your love is more than platonic, I see,” state Hoseok as Shownu’s college friends knowing his whole love story with Kihyun.

“Well, we are not you and Kyun who always showers each other with too much love.”

“I’m happy for you both. Take care of Minhyuk. Bye…”

They both set him off and go back to where Minhyuk’s left only to find an empty couch. The guy must have been left to the guest room, again.

***

Minhyuk woke up only to find an empty room, only him and the surroundings. The place was very familiar, but the silence felt a bit off. He tried to call out, “Hyungwon? Wonnie, baby? Won, where are you?” But no answers. So he just walked himself to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. He looked out the window and realized he slept past noon. The sky is almost dark, again, as the sun started to set one more time. _Did I really just sleep all day?_

A ring on his phone startled him and he rushed himself to get it the phone in his room. The name lit up on the screen made him furrowed his eyebrows. “Hi!” the voice greeted him with a very cheery tone. “Uhm, hi?” Minhyuk hesitated to answer.

“You okay?” the one who is at the other side of the phone could feel the difference of his tone, like there was something bothered Minhyuk’s mind.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” Minhyuk shaked his head and tried to gather back his consciousness to the fullest. “Just thought you are here…”

“I told you earlier I’ll be home late.”

“When?”

“This morning.”

“I woke up this morning?”

“Well yeah, Min. But, maybe you were too tired so you didn’t remember you woke me up this morning." Hyungwon realized Minhyuk was a little bit disoriented so he dropped it off before Minhyuk got more confused.

“I don’t know, I guess I haven't gathered all my consciousness because I sleep too much, Wonnie. But, I'm okay, though..”

“Okay baby, I’ll be home soon, anything you want to eat?”

“Chinese take-out will be okay, Won.”

“Okay.. Take care. See you.”

Minhyuk checked out the calendar, because he felt like he was zoned out from the time present. Now that he looked out the date, he finally remembered what had happened. It had been three days since his mood shifts attacked him again and two days ago was the last time he went to see his psychologist. He was kinda distracted once but acted out like everything was okay. One time he realized his mind wasn’t in the best place, the next moment he just smiled like nothing happened. He choked up by the thought of it and looked out to the table, found his medicine located near his glass of water. _Ah, I relapsed again, did I?_

He sat himself on the couch waiting for his boyfriend to come home. Television was on but he didn’t pay full attention to what was shown. He just needed another sound filled his place. His eyes stared to nothing as he pushed his mind to pull out memories of what triggered him this time. Guess, another bad comments on his cover video on youtube, or was it a stupid customer who forced to used him after he performed at the club, or maybe another nightmare of him losing everyone he love.

A ring on the doorbell startled him and put him back to realization. He got up to reach the door and Hyungwon who stood by it greeted him with open arms, as he held the take-out food in between his fingers. He let himself wrapped up inside his boyfriend and kissed his cheek as they let go. “Wonnie?” Minhyuk called him out as the other walked past him to the dining table.

“Yes, Hyukie?” Hyungwon turned his head to his love. 

“Did I…? Hm..?” Minhyuk didn’t feel like saying it out loud about what he just realized, but Hyungwon, knowing him inside out nod in understanding. He smiled and reached out his arm to be hugged by Minhyuk.

“How many days?” Minhyuk asked whispering facing Hyungwon’s chest.

“3 days.” Just exactly liked Minhyuk figured out.

“Thank you.”

“It’s okay, baby. It’s my responsibility too, to take care of you. Glad that it happened while I am here.” Hyungwon kissed Minhyuk’s temple long enough to assure him that everything will be okay, as long as they have each other.

“Don’t forget to take your medicine after dinner, okay?” Hyungwon looked down to meet Minhyuk’s eyes but hands still wrapped behind his waist.

“I refused to drink it, did I?”

“As usual…” Hyungwon giggled a little, knowing his boyfriend’s bad habit. Minhyuk, gladly, laughed along as if agreeing that he was stubborn enough during that state.

“Let’s eat now, I’m hungry.”

They finished up the dinner in no time. Minhyuk drank up his medicine while pouting before they finally decided to have a movie night.

"Don't pout." Hyungwon might have slipped Minhyuk's schedule again if the other kept pouting. But this time he insisted and Minhyuk couldn't say no.

Now they are both lying on the bed after Hyungwon cleaned up himself while Minhyuk chose the movie. Hyungwon sat up a little resting his back to the headboard of the bed and Minhyuk, as he always did, laid his head on Hyungwon upper chest. Hyungwon hands couldn't resist playing with Minhyuk's hair throughout the movie but the others didn't seem to care. They didn't talk much during it, just enjoying that classic film called A Walk to Remember. It's Minhyuk's favorite, and even though Hyungwon already memorized every dialogue he never complained because he knows Minhyuk loves it so much.

When the movie was done, Minhyuk shifted his head to look up to Hyungwon, cupped his face with one hand, "Hyungwonnie, thank you for keeping me sane." Hyungwon just smiled and brushed Minhyuk's bang with his fingers before kissing his temple gently.

"I rather do that every single time than losing you," he finally replied.

"But, don't you ever feel like I burden you too much somehow?" Minhyuk sat up by his baby.

"If taking care of you is viewed as a burden, then I don't deserve to love you, Minhyukie." He was taking Minhyuk's hand and linked their fingers with his own. His thumb kept brushing, soothing Minhyuk down.

"It's been a while since you gotten into it again, Min, what triggers now?"

"Hm, I don't really know. I just feel depressed lately. I couldn't function well at work, and I couldn't come up with any routine. The performance is around the corner but I haven't got time to practice with Kihyun because I don't have any choreography that fits with his music. Not to blame you, but when it happened while knowing that you are far away last week, I just lost who can help me loosen up my stress."

Hyungwon was about to say sorry but he slid it back into his mouth because he understood it would make Minhyuk felt guiltier. So he just nodded, shared Minhyuk an affirming smile, telling him that's it's okay to feel that way. "You do know, you are a great dancer, right, baby?"

"I hope I am."

"You are. And you are the strongest person I've ever known. Minhyuk," he shifted to face his boyfriend, "listen, it's okay for you to get lost in your thoughts, in your mind, in your dream, but I know your heart is always long to come back home, so I will be here. Always ready to pull you back to my side, to welcome you in my arms, and to find you, if you wander too far. Believe me, I'll stay with you and I'll wait for you, forever."

Minhyuk broke down in tears the moment Hyungwon said his heart out loud. The other pulled him into his embrace until he calmed down and finally went to sleep. He rested Minhyuk's head on the pillow, put back the laptop on top of the drawer, and covered them both with a blanket, snuggled closer to him and kissed his forehead, "Goodnight, love."

***

Minhyuk’s presence on the dining table scares the hell out of Kihyun when he walks in from the kitchen bringing two hot coffee on his hand. His face looks so pale, eye bags under his eyes are so dark, his hair is a mess, his lips and cheeks lose its color.

“When did you wake up?” Kihyun asks, as he nudges his head to Shownu.

The one who is asked just remain silent. Shownu is the one giving the answer, “he just did.”

Minhyuk sits on the chair in front of the table, but his mind wanders somewhere else. Bet he doesn’t seem to hear Kihyun asking him before. “Minhyuk, what do you want for breakfast…?” Kihyun asks him softly as he puts his hand on his shoulder. To make him notice at least.

A shrug is all he gets for an answer. So Kihyun decides to make simple breakfast like his and Shownu. Two of them have their breakfast in silence but Minhyuk’s remains untouched. He was just playing with his forks on his plate causing that annoying screeching sound. But the other two let him even though usually Kihyun will yell out for him to stop. When Kihyun and Shownu finish their food, Minhyuk puts down his forks and stands up, walks to the bathroom. The food is still there, intact.

“Do you want to eat this up?” Kihyun asks his boyfriend in frustration.

“Yeah, let it’s not wasted.” Shownu takes over Minhyuk’s plate and eats another portion.

“Thank you.”

“Ki, don’t be stressed out, okay? You’re the only support he has now.” Shownu reaches out for Kihyun’s hand, knowing his boyfriend is on the edge to snap at Minhyuk anytime soon.

Kihyun closes his eyes while taking a deep breath and lets Shownu’s words sink into his mind. He then gives a smile and nods. “I’m here, okay? You won’t face this and handle him alone.”

“I’m glad I finally have you here.”

“Hoseok was right.”

“Hm?”

“Took a long time for us to accept this.” Shownu smiles as Kihyun laughs agreeing.

Their little moment interrupts by Minhyuk coming out from the bathroom. Still not freshen up but the opposite, he looks worse. His eyes are puffy and red, he is soaking from head to toe, clothes all wet, his hair is no longer a mess but all down with water.

“Oh my god, Lee Minhyuk, what were you doing?” Kihyun runs rushing to him, pulls him into his embrace, while holding the back of his head and laying his arm around the shoulder. Shownu, who is also shocked by the view, takes steps hurriedly to his shared room with Kihyun and grabs a towel. He then gives it to wrap up around Minhyuk’s cold body.

They both lead Minhyuk to his room, Kihyun prepares changing clothes. He turns off the air conditioner as Minhyuk’s body temperature is already too cold. Shownu can feel it well, how Kihyun is panicking right now so he tries to stay calm. As he ruffles Minhyuk’s hair, drying it. Kihyun asks Minhyuk to put his arms up, he obliges to change Minhyuk’s tee as he surely believes his friends wouldn’t even think of changing. “Min, please, change first.”

“I don’t think I can see him tomorrow.” a very soft tone but full of desperation comes out from Minhyuk’s throat.

“Why?” Kihyun is still in a move to make Minhyuk change his t-shirt.

“I-I-I… I don’t know if I can handle him well, Ki.” Minhyuk look up to him still not raising his hand, instead he takes the clothes in Kihyun’s hand and throw it away as he said in frustration “He is the one who is always taking care of me! and now if...-if-if he is not in a….” he breaks down in tears and hides his face with his palms, sobbing.

“If you cannot be strong for yourself, then who is gonna do it for him, Min,” Kihyun says in a quite offensive tone. Shownu glares at him and asks him to go out with his head. “Let me handle him for now,” he whispers to his boyfriend.

“Let it out. But let me help you change as well.” Shownu tells Minhyuk to get up and gathers the clothes thrown away and gives it to his hand. Minhyuk’s tears are still flowing down but he listens to Shownu.

“It’s been a while since I have my medication.”

“Then you should take one, at least for these recent moments.”

“No one else ever accompanies me to see my psychologist except him, hyung. No one ever bears with me in this situation, but him. No one. No one. No one.” Minhyuk keeps repeating.

“I will. I’ll take you to see your psychologist. I’ll wait and I’ll take care of you. But you need to have a will to take care of yourself too. Okay, Minhyuk?” Shownu talks to him firmly but still full of understanding and he holds Minhyuk’s shoulder to affirm him. “Okay?” he repeats after silence. Minhyuk replies, nodding slowly as he wipes his tears off.

“This time, he needs you to be the one who finds him back to love and life.” Shownu says before leaving him to lay down on his bed, “I’ll bring you some tea. Please go out when it’s lunch time.” He hummed as an answer. While trying to sleep, he comes to a realization from Shownu’s statement before, about finding each other.

He realized, in his worst state, Hyungwon never--not even once--said that Minhyuk is depressed. He just labelled it: lost. Minhyuk is lost and Hyungwon will find him back. He will make sure Minhyuk comes back to him, his home. So it’s now Minhyuk’s turn to do the same.

***

#####  **_#3: Open When You Feel Lost_ **

_*Knock-knock!*_

_Hey Minnie, I’m here._

_I know it might happen once in a while, this situation, the condition of yours. It will come and go, back and forth, but hey it’s still the same you though. The Lee Minhyuk I fall in love with every second. The Lee Minhyuk I long to go back to from everywhere I go. The Lee Minhyuk I adore so much with every performance you did, every work of art you made, everything you did to me, to yourself, to us, to your friends and even my friends._

_I know it’s frustrating when you feel detached from yourself. I know it’s driving you crazy feeling down but not knowing what to do. I know it feels helpless, like no one will understand, like i don’t understand and yes, I admit sometimes I don’t understand how to be in your shoes but I know one thing for sure: knowing you feel lost in yourself, doesn’t make me love you less._

_If you ever feel lost, in your mind, in your soul, in your heart, please look up for me. Don’t forget that you have me, you have us. Don’t give up on us, on yourself, cause I will never. I will always and forever find you back to be with me._

_But one thing. I hope you always let me. Let me help you, let me care for you, let me have you for whatever happens in life of our love. Since day one, I commit myself to love you no matter what--through bad times, bad days, bad moments. Not only to share happiness with you. But maybe, we could just get lost together._

_If you ever feel you are not precious. Draw me, picture me, write about me, dance and move for me. Tell me why you want me to be there for you, cause I will. And you’ll understand why you are precious because that’s what I hope my love meant for you. To be with you close and in the distance, being with you in joy and anger and sadness. Being with you in your hypest, full of adrenaline, bright sunshine state the same way when you are in your stressful, full of tangled-thoughts, gloom rainy day state._

_One thing to look for when you feel lost: lower down your head a little, focus on one thing--nope not your belly (i know it’s cute, but not that)--to your chest. hear out the beats of your heart, feel the rhythm spread through your own hand touch. and now do the same as I did, say “knock, knock.”_

_I will be there, in your heart, opening the door as you finally find your way back h o m e; to me,_

_Hyungwonnie_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i warned you it will be sad, did i?  
> i hope the mentioned of accident didn’t make you uncomfortable :")
> 
> thank you for kudos & comments, you made my day.  
> any questions are welcomed here too:  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chaemin151311)  
> [CuriousCat](https://t.co/rDIH0gL8Us)


	4. Open When I'm Coming Back Home (to Your Arms)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk used to be very excited and happy for the upcoming meeting with Hyungwon, but this time the encounter wasn’t that pleasant to be expected as usual. Will his heart be able to bear with this kind of reunion?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prepare some tissue, maybe? oh, and this chapter will be back and forth through past and present (as usual).

“It’s today, Ki!!!! I can’t wait ‘till practice is over.” Minhyuk shouted loudly to Kihyun’s ear.

“Oh my… You’ve been saying that for hours now Min, yeah yeah yeah I know you are very happy today cause Hyungwon will be home soon.”

“Yes!!” Minhyuk jumped up and down as if his energy was fully charged even though practice made him exhausted already. He drank up his water from a bottle then wiped his sweat as he walked to the restroom with Kihyun.

“So you will go to the airport today?”

“Humm.. He asked me to pick him up. I’ll be going straight from here though, you want to come along?”

“No. No, thank you,” Kihyun refused it very firmly.

“Hahahaha what is that supposed to mean…?”

“I'd rather be alone every time than third-wheeling you both when it’s time Hyungwon is coming back.”

“You’re so dramatic. It’s always nice being with someone rather than being alone though.”

“Well maybe you can put yourself in my shoe, and experience it yourself seeing you and Hyungwon all lovey-dovey like you’ve been separated for 100 years.”

“Hahahahahaha,” Minhyuk laughed so loud because of Kihyun’s reaction.

After changing their clothes, Kihyun went out from the restroom when an unexpected someone suddenly rang his phone. A name lit and he hesitated to answer, but, “Hello?”

“Hi, Ki, how are you? Did I bother you?” It’s Shownu, his unadmitted crush who he’d been waiting for months after their last call.

“No. Not at all.. What is it, hyung?”

“Did I ever tell you to stop calling me hyung?” Shownu sighed but then followed by a giggle. “Nothing, I just miss talking to you. What are you up to now?”

“Just finished practice for the performance at the year end festival. And you are?”

“That’s nice! Minhyuk too? I am in a coffee shop now, going to grab some pastry.”

“Yes, with Minhyuk as well.. Ah, you still love pastry.”

“Of course, but yours is still the best of all.”

“Don’t tease me, hyung.”

“I am not, Kihyun. I am saying my honest opinion. Please make me some when I get back to Seoul.”

“.....” Kihyun didn’t know what to answer. But Shownu wouldn’t like to give up till he got a yes for answer, “Okay? Promise me you will…?”

“Okay…”

Minhyuk teased him after the call ended, as he kept trying to eavesdrop on their conversation before. “Soooooo, Shownu hyung will come back home to you?”

“What the hell Min, that’s not what he said.”

“Same meaning for me.” He stuck out his tongue.

“Husshh! Just go! You gotta be late if you are not in a hurry.” Kihyun pushed him off and Minhyuk excused himself to go then.

“Okay, okay, I’ll get going now. Bye, Kiki!” He walked out of the building to his car and drove himself to meet Hyungwon at the airport.

Minhyuk parked his car at the nearest spot from Hyungwon’s arrival gate and walked down himself entering the airport. Thirty more minutes before Hyungwon’s flight landed. So he waited at a fastfood restaurant and bought himself lemon tea and some french fries. He was very excited to finally meet his boyfriend because this was the first time Hyungwon had gone on a business trip for more than 10 days and it really sucks to be left alone. Not that he couldn’t manage his feelings of loneliness, but you know, when you were so in love with someone, every second counts and so did missing them was inevitable.

A message suddenly popped up on his phone and his eyes sparked. He’s here. Hyungwon had just arrived. He grabbed his drink in his hand and shoved the pack of his french fries to the trash can before he left the place and stood-waited on the arrival line.

“Baby!” Hyungwon called him out as he saw Minhyuk from afar. He walked toward him fast and pulled Minhyuk into a hug without thinking, left a kiss on his temple then saying, “Miss me?”

“Of course, you silly.” Minhyuk said as he hit Hyungwon’s chest. He helped to bring Hyungwon’s handy bag, while Hyungwon himself pulled his luggage then Minhyuk led them to the car.

“Let me drive, Minhyukie..”

“No way.”

“What? Why?”

“You must be tired, dear, so no. Let me.”

“No, I am okay. You also tired tho, you just finished practice right?”

“How did you know?”

“First, you told me before I went on a flight, and second, you stink cause you must haven’t taken a shower after practice,” Hyungwon said that in a joking tone as he made faces to his boyfriend. The other pouted and acted as if he was upset, but again, he knew that his boyfriend was just kidding. So, he let himself go straight to the passenger seat after putting Hyungwon’s bag at the backseat. 

“I am taking you somewhere a bit far from here, if you don’t mind, baby?” said Hyungwon once they both drove out from the airport.

“Hm, why so sudden? Don't you need some rest?”

“Nah, it’s okay. It’s been a while, and being with you is enough to recharge my energy. You must like this one.” He winked and didn’t wait for Minhyuk to give approval as he went straight to this place he determined before he got landed.

Hyungwon and Minhyuk always, and guess it will last forever, love enjoying sightseeing, walking down the park, and having an intimate conversation while enjoying sunset while paying attention on how the sky turns to dark. So that was exactly what they did. Hyungwon brought them to Haneul Park. One of his sweet escapes, one that he never shared with Minhyuk, cause this one was somehow, special. Before he was really sure of his relationship with Minhyuk, he chose this place to be his runaway so now he wanted to share it with his boyfriend.

“Why are we here? What made you bring me here?” he really couldn’t stop asking as they both walked side by side, hands tied to each other, swinging.

“Because I wanted to? I want you to know my sweet escape, my go to place, whenever I feel down, or upset, or stress out about something. You know, a place where you find content and seek peace, beside home.”

“Oh…. I didn’t know you had this kind of place.”

“Isn’t it everyone had, at least one place?”

“Well…. I guess, but I don’t really know mine.”

“It’s the library. You used to always go there when you are upset.”

“Hm, that’s true. But now, I guess my sweet escape is you. My home is you.”

“Exactly, mine too. I rarely go here after 6 months of our relationship. All of the feelings I had and I seek for when I go to this place was replaced with just being with you, wherever it is. Home is where the heart is, right?”

They sat down on one of the benches provided. Minhyuk leaned his head down on Hyungwon’s shoulder as the other let his fingers play with his baby hair. “So, what happened while I’m away?”

“I think Kihyun is having something going on with Shownu hyung.”

“Eh? Your senior in dance class?”

“Yes! That one. They kinda chat with each other back and forth. Then, today, Shownu hyung called Kihyun asked Ki to make him a pastry when he got back. It’s funny that Kihyun couldn’t or I think he just wouldn’t say no.”

“Ah… He’s whipped.”

“He just doesn’t want to admit.”

“So how about you? When will you make me a pastry?”

“What? No! I won’t, ever.” Minhyuk stuck out his tongue and let himself off of Hyungwon’s embrace.

“Why?”

“Cause I can’t make one, Wonnie! I can cook any dish for you, but not pastry, sorry..”

“Well, you can try..”

“Hm, demanding I see…” Minhyuk said, teasing. “So, how about yourself baby, what are you up too?” Hyungwon continued to ask.

“I finished the dance routine two days ago, so now I’m working on perfecting the flow of the choreography. Oh! I also have something for you too at home.”

“What is it?” Hyungwon eyes sparked, as he looked forward to knowing more about it.

“Just a simple homecoming gift hihi…”

“What is it….” Hyungwon whined as he shook Minhyuk’s hand.

“I’ll show you when we arrive at home though.. By the way, your mom visited last Friday, did she tell you?”

“Ugh! Why can’t you show it to me now!? Don’t change the topic, Hyukie..”

“Just answer me… hmph!”

“Yes, she did. She said she brought some home food special for you, and I’m jealous. I think she loves you more as his son than me,” Hyungwon said that in fast paced, only in one breath. Finally gave up to ask Minhyuk what present he prepared for him.

“Whoa whoa.... Take it easy, Wonnie, hahaha you’re so funny,” Minhyuk giggled before he continued, “and yes, her food is always delicious. She also gave us a couple sweaters, handmade. I even asked her to teach me how to make one.”

“You will need days to learn that...”

“It’s okay though! It seems fun.”

“I won’t let you!!”

“Eh? Why…?”

“I won’t be able to be with you then…” Hyungwon pouted, faking to be sulky. But Minhyuk didn’t give in as he stood up and walked away, while saying, “Like I care…”

Hyungwon was shocked by his reaction so he chased him down as Minhyuk ran further. But Hyungwon’s steps were bigger than Minhyuk's that he was able to catch him. Minhyuk tried to get away as they both slipped and finally fell down together. They giggled and laughed loudly, Minhyuk kept saying in between, “get off me, get off me hahaha,” but Hyungwon wouldn’t listen as he trapped Minhyuk in between his arms instead. They stared at each other’s eyes for a couple of minutes, before Minhyuk glanced away hiding his shyness. Hyungwon smiled by the view and he could see it very well that Minhyuk's cheeks turned red. He lowered himself down, held himself with his elbow, and stole a kiss from Minhyuk’s plump lips.

“I love you. Thank you for welcoming me back home as always.” He said it softly that only two of them could hear it. Minhyuk smiled as his heart bloomed.

***

It’s the same airport. But not the same excitement welcoming his boyfriend's arrival. Minhyuk looks up to Hoseok as the older parks his car. Hoseok gives him an assuring touch and smiles as he nods, signaling Minhyuk that it will be fine.

All four of them get out of the car, Kihyun and Shownu ends up coming along because Minhyuk insisted. They all walk into the arrival waiting room with Minhyuk latches his hand with Kihyun’s. “I am sorry,” a sudden apology comes out from Minhyuk's mouth as they walk.

“Hm, pardon?”

“Sorry…” he says it once again, a little louder so Kihyun can hear it clearly.

“Don’t be. That’s what _best_ friends are for, Min. Sorry for being too harsh on you yesterday.” Kihyun throws a comforting smile as his thumb strokes Minhyuk’s hand.

“I am afraid, Ki…”

“Why?”

“What if I am breaking down here?”

“I am here, don’t worry.”

“I’ll embarrass you,” Minhyuk drops his head down, inhales, exhales. They all sit down in one of the empty rows of chairs.

“So what? People can judge, whatever, they just don’t experience it the way you did. If it’s painful, just cry it out loud, if it’s hurting you, let it loose. I’ll be here. Okay?” Kihyun facing him.

“Hm..” Minhyuk doesn’t bother to answer while his hand is busy fidgeting with his fingers.

“It’s normal to cry over an injured boyfriend, Minhyuk.”

“Did Hoseok-hyung show you how bad it is?”

“No… Enough with wondering, just wait patiently, okay? Prepare your heart. Remember all the happiness you can feel when you can meet him again.”

“But--”

“Think about it this way: He’s still your lovely Hyungwon, you both still love each other no matter what, and you both will always wait for each other to come back to each other’s arms.” Kihyun tries hard to embed positive thoughts inside Minhyuk’s thought. Their conversations break by the sound of Hoseok answering a phone call. It’s Changkyun. They are here. Hyungwon is here. Home.

“Let’s go now!” Hoseok calls out the other three to follow him.

“Where?” Shownu asks.

“There’s this exclusive gate for passengers from air ambulance.” The mentioned words weighten Minhyuk’s heart, as if a thunder just hit him. But he keeps following Hoseok hyung, hands still tied to Kihyun as he walks.

When they are near the referred door, Changkyun is already standing there waiting for them. His eyes light up as he sees Hoseok and he runs toward him, pulls him into a tight hug and kisses his cheek as Hoseok ruffles his hair and rubs his back. “Hi, love.”

“Glad you’re here. Welcome home,” Hoseok replies. _Ah, those words_ , Minhyuk thinks and feels like his heart is torn apart.

“Min hyung!” Changkyun lets out a bit of squeals, not in excitement, but more anticipating tone, as he embraces Minhyuk into his hug. The one being called widens his eyes in shock trying to process what just happened. “Be strong, hyung, you’ll be fine. So does Hyungwon hyung,” Changkyun says before he lets loose and faces Minhyuk giving a smile. A very tender one and filled by understanding. “You ready?”

“I hope so…” Minhyuk says almost like a whisper.

“Come with me, the others can wait outside.” Changkyun grabs Minhyuk's hand and leads him to a room, entering the door and assists by two nurses.

“He’s inside. Should I give you a moment for yourse-”

“No! Stay with me.” Minhyuk cuts Changkyun words while he tightens his grip. Changkyun just nods as a form of agreeing to accompany Minhyuk inside.

Minhyuk enters the room at a very slow pace. Every step he takes feels heavy. His heart beating fast and his mind is wandering out of nowhere. His other hand parts the curtain covering the patient inside, which is his boyfriend, Hyungwon.

His hand is clenching hard, his mouth gapes, his eyes start to form tears, his heart feels like stop beating, his breath is running out as he sees Hyungwon’s condition. He bites his lips once he can control his emotions a while, letting his hand off of Changkyun’s and getting closer to his boyfriend. He seems lifeless. His eyes closed, his plump lips are pale, his face looks dull. Minhyuk can’t describe it well how Hyungwon’s face is, but, the beauty, it’s been damaged by wounds.

Changkyun starts to explain a bit about Hyungwon condition now, but Minhyuk can’t really pay attention as he is starting to cry over it. He is breaking down in tears. The words seem fading away. Some of them are heard vaguely--”crash on his face, broken bones and ribs, impact on his head.”

It hurts, it’s too much for him to take. It’s very painful to see Hyungwon like this, laying on the bed, looking so empty. Never in his imagination cross a picture of him welcoming his boyfriend with this state.

“He is in a coma, hyung.” Changkyun finishes his explanation in whisper, caressing Minhyuk back and holding his shoulder tight from aside.

***

The walks and playful moments at Haneul Park were enclosed by watching the sunset there. The wind blew off Hyungwon’s long hair and Minhyuk couldn’t help but be stunned by the view. “Hyungwon,” he called out to his boyfriend who whipped his head to look at him and he hummed. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me just right,” Minhyuk completed his sentences. He received a very lovely smile full of tenderness from Hyungwon who eliminated the gap between them and kissed Minhyuk forehead, “same goes to you, Hyukie.”

They both got back home after taking some drive-thru for dinner and Hyungwon was so excited to find out what gifts Minhyuk had prepared. “Let’s have dinner now! I am starving.”

“Gift.”

“Huh?” Minhyuk didn’t get the hint.

“Gift, Hyukie.”

“What gift?”

“You promised!!”

“Oh my, _that_ gift. Can we eat first?”

“No.” Hyungwon is really sulking now, but Minhyuk knew it’s just an act to force him took out the gift right away.

“Hmm, since when you become a crybaby. Wait.” Minhyuk went to their room and brought out a big rectangle gift wrapped with brown papers.

“Whoaa, it’s big.”

“Don’t get too excited. It might disappoint you.”

“There’s no way!” Hyungwon took it well after Minhyuk handed it to him. He then sat down on the sofa in the living room and without hesitation wrecked off the wrap. Meanwhile, Minhyuk kept an eye on his boyfriend fondly. He observed how stars lit up in Hyungwon’s eyes, his face showed that he was full of surprise as his lips parted and mouth agape, no words coming out. His fingertips trailed to the object carefully, he couldn’t hide his amazement. “You like it?” Minhyuk finally asked.

“I love it,” Hyungwon answered it without letting his eyes off of the canvas painted with very soft tone colors, a picture of him and Minhyuk. Well, a painting of Minhyuk picturing himself admiring Hyungwon from afar.

“Today, 3 years ago, was the day I fell in love with you at first sight. Even though you seemed so far that time.”

Hyungwon rushed to his boyfriend after carefully putting the painting down on the sofa, pulled him back to his arms. “Now, we are this close and nothing could change that, Lee Minhyuk.”

“Hm, welcome home, Chae Hyungwon.” Since that moment, Minhyuk always prepared a little homecoming gift for Hyungwon.

***

“Welcome home, Wonnie. Miss me?” Minhyuk tries to form the words in between his sniffles. His voice cracks and raspy as he said that typical phrase his boyfriend usually used to greet him. His fingertips keep caressing Hyunwon’s lower arms before he finally linked their fingers and wraps it.

Changkyun's heart breaks a little with the sight, as he himself tries to control his emotions. He has to be strong for Minhyuk hyung at least in this moment for a while. Minhyuk shifts his gaze and finds Changkyun over his shoulder, “let’s take him to the hospital, now?”

“Ah, yes, hyung. The ambulance is ready.”

“Okay, Kyunie, thank you.”

Changkyun informs the nurse that they are ready to bring him to the hospital, then he and Minhyuk go out of the room and meet the others waiting outside. Minhyuk's eyes are empty, the colors in his face are gone, it’s got worse than before, than last night Shownu may have said.

“Min?” Kihyun calls out as he sees Minhyuk is a bit zone out.

“It’s okay, Ki. He’s home now. With me,” he says that soulless, as the _happiness_ of back to home doesn't reach his eyes. 

***

#####  **_#4: Open When I’m Coming Back Home (to Your Arms)_ **

_Hi Lee Minhyuk!_

_Miss me?_

_Hahaha, isn’t that my typical line every time I got home to you? Yes, indeed. That won’t change. Because I will always make sure that your heart misses mine whenever I am away. No, baby, not that I don’t trust you. I trust your heart will always belong to me forever (am I too confident? hihi) but, I need myself to listen to it every time. Just proof that I am finally home to you._

_So, what have you been up to while I’m gone? Is there any interesting story to tell? Are there any new gossip about the barista at our favorite coffee shop? Did you come up with a new dance routine? Did you do anything new as your hobby? Is everything fine with you?_

_Tell me, describe it to me, how is the room temperature while I am not sleeping with you? I bet it is cold. It should be. Because that’s what I felt every night when I am not with you, my source of warmth, my little bright sunshine. The bed felt too big for me, this long bean pole of yours laying in a california king bed, hung on to the deflated bolster. I rather have your thin back attached to my chest as I spoon you, as usual, as I scents your cologne through the night to help me fall asleep._

_Tell me, share with me, how is the meal tasted without you sharing it with me at our dining table? I bet it tastes dull. It has to be. Because that’s what I felt every moment I had my breakfast alone in the hotel, while I’m having lunch with clients or by my own at the finest restaurant, or buying take out food for dinner. Every food, snack, and drink I consumed will be a lot more delicious if I have to share. You’ll be having those funny and out of the box comments of how it tastes. Except, it has cucumber. You’ll be rejected before your tongue even touches it._

_So, again, I ask, miss me, Hyukie?_

_Do you miss our late night conversation before we went to sleep, or movies marathon on rainy days under the blanket, or just watching me gone to dreamland as soon as my body connected to our bed? Because I do._

_Do you miss having our simple sunny side up and sandwiches for breakfast, or cooking (well me helping you cook) for lunch full of yummy dishes, or sneaking out late for midnight snack cause we usually skips dinner? I do miss it a lot._

_I miss having you back in my arms, cuddling, sharing kisses from your head to toe, and also thoughts of your random questions of life or me with my complicated theories. So, let’s do the count down._

_10…9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2… hold up!_

_The last count should be when I finally able hold you, coming back home to your arms._

_What surprise will I receive this time?_

_The one who can’t wait to be home, with you,_

_Chae Hyungwon._

_See you very very very soon, baby!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kindly accepting any comments and thoughts, please share some! thank you for reading this piece of mine :*
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chaemin151311)  
> [CuriousCat](https://t.co/rDIH0gL8Us)


	5. Open When It’s the First Snowfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter is here and that’s how Minhyuk misses his ice-cold prince to play snowball with him. But he just can’t.  
> Will Minhyuk hate Winter for the second time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you guys wait for this? :") i hope you are. sorry for taking so long.

It’s around two weeks.

Fourteen days of Hyungwon doing nothing but staying silent, laying in bed, eyes still closing, heart beating just can be monitored through the Holter machine. But Minhyuk is still there, waiting in high hopes, staying in between pain, holding back tears and communicating in the most possible way even though he never earns a response.

It’s past mid of December when Minhyuk stares out the window in the hospital room, snow falls down and touches the leaf. He smiles, somehow it feels bitter but he still smiles. Knowing that it’s another time of Winter he will spend with his beloved one.

The beeps which echo in the room fill his heart with cold stings sounds very empty and lifeless. He himself can’t even erase the numb his heartfelt but tries to ignore it somehow. He is staring outside, then sits back himself holding Hyungwon’s hand and intertwining their fingers, whispering “Winter is here, Wonnie…” He leaves a kiss on his knuckles.

Then, someone knocks on the door and breaks the silence that starts to become overwhelming. “Come in,” Minhyuk says in quite a loud tone. The door squeaks as it’s revealing his best friend.

“Hey, Min hyung… Sorry, I just have time to visit now,” Jooheon says as he walks nearing Minhyuk and gives him a warm hug.

“Hi, Joo, it’s okay. I know you are busy anyway. Your messages are already helping.”

They stay inside Hyungwon’s room. Jooheon keeps up the conversation with Minhyuk, asking this and that. Sometimes Minhyuk giggles, even though it doesn’t seem as freely as he used to be but at least, Jooheon here is glad that he can make the older laugh. Shows some positive emotions after every negative event that just happened to him.

“Have you eaten?” the younger guy asks as he sees the clock is ticking around 1 PM. It’s lunchtime, but probably, knowing his best friend's bad habit, Minhyuk doesn’t bother to buy something downstairs to have himself a meal.

“No. Not yet, maybe later,” he answers with a sad smile.

“Then accompany me, will you?” Jooheon offers but keeps his tone soft as if he doesn’t want it to sound demanding and inconsiderate. Minhyuk looks up to him for a while, hesitating, turns his head back to Hyungwon and says, “can we just get a takeaway then have it up here?”

Jooheon nods, as he understands Minhyuk doesn’t want to leave Hyungwon too long. They both then go down together to the hospital cafeteria, order their lunches, and straight back to Hyungwon’s room.

During lunch, Minhyuk doesn’t talk much and Jooheon feels a bit sorry for him. He misses the sunshine Minhyuk, who didn’t know how to shut his mouth even though he is munching his food but now it’s just silent. The older guy looks up to the window once again and stares at the outside view from afar as they sit at the table near the door.

“I don’t really like Winter, do you know Joo?” his voice suddenly breaks the silence.

“Eh?? Since when? Back then, as far as I remember your eyes always glisten when snowfalls.”

“Yeah… Until my mom and dad got divorced during it, and I experienced the worst Christmas. You weren't there since you moved to Japan before you came back here… But it changed when Hyungwon became part of my life. Winter doesn’t feel so bad anymore. I can taste the sweetness again, not so bitter.”

“Oh… I am sorry to hear that, hyung.. So, hmm, you guys started seeing each other during Winter?” Jooheon tries to engage with Minhyuk’s story.

“No, but our first encounter happened when the snows started to fall, 5 years ago.”

***

Another Winter came and Minhyuk still didn’t like it. It used to be the best time of the year, for some people, it will always be, but not for him. Winter only left him with bitter memories, the days when he heard from behind the door that his mother and father argued and threw glasses around the house, were days when his nightmare became worse. Until one day, on a very ordinary Winter day, his mother asked him to move out of the house and he knew that they were no longer together. That moment happened after his mom finally filed a divorce and chose to not stay with his father anymore. It stayed like that until one time when snow fell for the first time that year.

“The snow falls,” Minhyuk turned his head to find where the sound was coming from. Some guy sat on the other swing next to him. “Does it look beautiful?” the guy genuinely asked him, turned his head to him and smiled. That was the most beautiful smile Minhyuk ever saw, or maybe he was just too in love with the view. The guy tilted his head as if waiting for Minhyuk to give a response.

“It is…” Minhyuk said almost whispered. His heart started beating fast, cause the guy who happened to show up here was the same guy he laid his eyes on during the first day of orientation in college. “You like snow?”

“I do. It chills you out, with its white it shows purity. Showing the other side of the world that is somehow covered by evil,” the other guy answered, looking to his shoes as he went swinging at a steady pace.

“I’m Minhyuk,” Minhyuk offered an introduction as he stretched out his hand to the other guy.

“I know your name. Bet you know mine too.” The latter laughed but still grabbed and accepted the handshake.

Minhyuk couldn’t hide the surprise on his face and made the other laugh louder. “Why so surprised? We are in the same class for some lectures, right?”

 _Oh, he noticed me._ Minhyuk had thought to himself. “Hm, you are right, Hyungwon. For 2 classes, I guess..?” he finally answered.

“You live near?” Hyungwon asked after he nodded.

“Yes, I just moved actually about 2 months ago.”

“Oh, take a dorm or?”

“Apartment. I rented with my best friend. How about you?”

“My house is a bit far from here but quite near as well. It took a while to walk, so I have my bike brought me here.” He pointed to where he parked his bike.

“Didn’t see you here often, so what brings you here, Minhyuk?”

“It's the first snowfall. I tend to seek happiness outside during Winter. I don’t feel like being alone.”

“But you are alone,” Hyungwon said in a very calm way.

“At least, not too alone in my room, you know…”

“Wanna ride somewhere?”

“Uh? I went here on foot.”

“Go sit on the back seat of my bike, if you don’t mind, I can take you somewhere.”

“You sure, Hyungwon?”

“Hmm, yup,” Hyungwon nodded his head as he stood up and offered his hand for Minhyuk to take in and lead them both to his bike.

“Okay…” Minhyuk took his hand and they walked together side by side.

***

“Minhyuk?” Hyungwon called out as he realized the latter was zoning out.

“Ah sorry, what did you ask?”

“Do you want mint choco flavor?”

“Oh, no, please… I don’t like it. I’ll take green tea instead, Hyungwon,” he grinned as he answered and Hyungwon just nodded.

“Then, 1 mint choco and 1 green tea please..”

After they ordered the ice cream at a stall quite far from the park, Hyungwon and Minhyuk sit by the bench served outside the place.

“Thank you,” Minhyuk said as Hyungwon gave him his ice cream.

“Minhyuk, you said you don’t like to be alone in Winter, wanna tell why?” Hyungwon asked him carefully, after taking a spoonful of his ice cream, but didn’t bother to look up to the other as well.

Minhyuk himself was surprised by how he easily answered the very personal question to the guy he just got to meet personally once, saying “my parents got divorced during Winter, years ago.”

Just by that one sentence, Hyungwon felt deeply sorry and slightly guilty of asking the question. His face showed confusion on how to respond to it, so he just grabbed Minhyuk’s hand, held it firmly as if giving him reassurance and said, “then I will be honored to accompany you for every Winter that is yet to come.”

By that saying, Hyungwon kept his words and he made sure that Minhyuk’s Winter days filled with togetherness, getting to know each other better and deeper. Not only Winter, but Minhyuk’s days in other seasons were also filled with Hyungwon from the day forward.

***

“So it really took you both years to finally be in a serious relationship..?” Jooheon asked.

“Sort of, but we really kinda not seeing someone else’s during those years before he finally declared me as his boyfriend.”

“That one time, when we met in a club during last year of college, he was not yet your boyfriend?”

“Hahaha, technically not yet.”

“Whoa… I thought you both already dated each other like 4 years now.”

“Nope..” Minhyuk smiles as he looks over to the man laying on the bed, the monitor is still beeping.

“The dusk has come, I think I should go home now… Are you staying alone?”

“I did yesterday, but tonight I think Changkyun will come to visit and stay.”

“Ah okay… Tell him I say hi.”

“Hu-um... Thanks, Jooheon for visiting.”

“Stay strong, hyung.” Jooheon wraps Minhyuk in his embrace tightly and caresses his back before he lets go and walks out of the room. Minhyuk says goodbye as he forces a thankful smile.

***

Jooheon, on the other side, doesn’t walk away immediately when he goes out. He inhales, exhales, things he does to ease down the burden he feels inside his heart. His eyes dart back to the door before he smiles bitterly.

“I will always be by your side, hyung. If only I had the chance.” He whispers to himself then takes steps away from the hospital room.

***

Now, the emptiness is growing inside Minhyuk’s mind once again as he closes the door. He walks to the bedside, drags his chair and takes a seat after leaving a kiss on Hyungwon’s temple. “Wake up, please, baby..”

Hyungwon stays, no flinches, no moving fingers, no responses at all. Minhyuk stares deeply, observing his face, his thumb keeps caressing Hyungwon’s backside palms as their fingers curl to each other’s. His mind wanders to what the doctor has said before about Hyungwon conditions.

_“The accident was quite fatal, it gave a big impact on his head and in this current state, we couldn’t do much. The major operation to his broken bones on the upper legs, and his ribs had been done before he’s taken back to Seoul, so we just need to wait until he is conscious to give him further examination.”_

The sayings keep buzzing in Minhyuk’s mind as if he keeps trying to accept those things that happened to his beloved boyfriend, but he just can’t. His eyes start burning as tears fill up, and it drops as Minhyuk breaks down himself. His thought keeps telling him it’s gonna be okay, sooner or later, but he just denies it very well that he can be okay. He needs him to awake this very moment, to let go of the pain his chest feels, to make him no longer wait for maybe nothing in the uncertain future. To make him believe that the world isn’t giving him any punishment, that human nature works against him and Hyungwon. To stop him for once again, hating a lonely Winter.

“You need to be strong, Minhyuk.” He says to himself. He remembers what his psychologist said to him, that it is not his fault, it is just fate, and if he stays stronger each day, the love he has will heal him. The love He has will heal them both. He then drives himself to sleep, at least to rest his mind for a while, to let go of the pain sometimes, before Changkyun came.

***

“Chae Hyungwon!” Minhyuk jumped to hug his boyfriend when the latter came to his apartment. It was the first day of Winter and it’s been months after they were finally in a relationship. Hyungwon caught him as he swung around his Minhyuk.

Kihyun came out from his room, seeming in distress, “could you both, stop brushing to my face that I am the only single here.”

“We are not, Ki!” Minhyuk chuckled at his best friend's reaction as Hyungwon put him down back to the ground.

“You want to come along, Ki?” Hyungwon asked Minhyuk’s roommate.

“Oh, no, thank you. I will ruin your date. It’s okay, just have fun you two!” Kihyun answered as he walked to the kitchen preparing his brunch.

“Okay, then! See you tonight, Kihyun…” Minhyuk waved goodbye and both the lovers walked out of the apartment.

“The snow fell early in the morning, did you see?” Hyungwon asked Minhyuk as he drove them both to a restaurant near their college dorms.

“No, I'm still asleep, I guess. Why were you so early anyway? Did you sleep well, Wonnie?”

“I just couldn’t wait to see you.”

“Cheesy.”

“But, that’s true. I am telling you the truth,” Hyungwon protested.

“Well, I didn’t say you were lying, I just find it cheesy.”

“By the way, Hyukie, I have something for you.”

“What is it?”

“Just wait and see, I’ll show you once we got there.” Hyungwon pulled off as they parked in front of the restaurant and he asked Minhyuk to get off first.

As they enjoyed their meals, they both really shared cheerful moments. Hyungwon couldn’t stop laughing for every Minhyuk’s jokes, till his cheeks hurt and Minhyuk himself, felt like he lived to that day as he loved every second passed by with Hyungwon.

“So, you were saying that you approached me that first time because I looked sad?”

“Yes... That’s the first time I saw your face full of frown and it was just cloudy. While actually during college, I always find you very bright, full of laughter and just, happy.”

“It was just out of pity then,” Minhyuk faked a pout and Hyungwon laughed at it as his hand reached out to pinch Minhyuk’s cheeks.

“No. It was never out of pity if I had laid my eyes on you the first time I saw you smiled when you came late to our class.”

“Oh? The news is new.”

“I didn’t tell, did I?”

“Nope.”

“Well, now you know,” Hyungwon munches back his chicken after saying.

“So! What is it that you wanted to give me?” Minhyuk’s face showed a lot of anticipation.

“Don’t expect too much, it’s not even a gift, baby.”

“It’s okay, I just can’t wait to know what it is.” He clapped his hand and then offered him empty palms.

“Here, my parents ask me to give you this.” He pulled out an envelope and landed it to Minhyuk’s opened palm.

Minhyuk squinted his eyes, questioning. But he took it anyway and opened it in a rush, very curious. He scanned through the papers, it was an invitation.

“My parents would like to meet you, in person, on their wedding anniversary. Will you come and let me introduce you to the family as my boyfriend?”

Minhyuk’s eyes glittered with tears, happy tears. He just nodded and found himself speechless. Hyungwon seemed to understand how emotional his boyfriend was, so he took his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

***

Minhyuk wakes up and finds his eyes wet. _Am I crying in my sleep?_

Then he realizes he just had a dream about the past. A very happy moment for him but again, his mood just drops the moment he lays his eyes on Hyungwon.

He lets out a heavy sigh and gathers back his consciousness. Soon, Changkyun will come so he grabs his clothes and takes a shower. Just to be presentable for the latter or else, the younger will forever be worried.

Right after Minhyuk gets out of the bathroom, Changkyun brags in.

“Hyung, I bought dinner for us. Is barbeque okay?”

“Hmm…” Minhyuk answers as he folds his dirty clothes and packs it to the bag.

“How is he? Did the doctor check up on him today?”

“Only the nurse came. Nothing much change.” Minhyuk doesn’t bother to explain much and only gives brief answers.

“Tomorrow, you will be back home?”

“Just to grab some clothes and stuff, then I am coming back here.”

“You need to rest properly too, hyung. Me, Hoseok, and Kihyun can take turns to be here, though.”

“No, it’s okay Kyunie. Hoseok is busy, you are too. I have been troubling Kihyun and Shownu-hyung too much too, so it’s okay. I can take care of him though.”

“But you haven't taken care of yourself well enough.”

“I am okay. As you can see.”

“Yeah, look very sleep deprived and skinnier.”

“It’s just….home doesn’t feel like home without him in it. Hoping that he might wake up anytime soon, I just wanted to be there when it happens.”

“But after this Winter break, we can really need to take turns. You must work on your project too, right? This world keeps spinning, hyung, so you need to keep going forward too.” His tone becomes calmer as he comforts Minhyuk.

“He doesn’t want to see you like this, too, you know.”

“I know, Kyunie. I know.” Minhyuk says as he closes his eyes, inhaling. “Let’s eat now, shall we?”

***

#####  _#5: Open When It’s the First Snowfall_

_Min!! The snow has fallen!!_

_Winter is coming and I can’t be more excited to spend it with you, baby. Are you too??_

_You know what, while writing this one, I can’t think of anyone or anything else except you. The guy I fall in love with. The one who made me had a gut to talk to. That one time, the first day of snowfall back then._

_I saw you were sitting all by yourself, on the swing. Bet that is your favorite play, right Minhyukie? Cause it happened to be mine too. Like how the flakes of snow, the swinging at the playground, the Winter, the ice cream cups, reminds me of you and our first rendezvous._

_I am sorry if I ruined your “self-quality” time in that past, but as I see you also cherished it the same way as I did, guess we just fell into each other’s heart too deep and at the same time lightly like how the snow falls to the earth._

_J.B. Priestley once said, “the first fall of snow, it’s not only an event. It is a magical event.” I kinda agree with him, don’t you think? Because those times before, I always wondered what kind of magic would come to one of my snowfalls day, and it ended up leading me to you. You are the most precious magical thing that ever happened to me, my ray of sunshine._

_This time, you will call me cheesy, again._

_I don’t care, cause I know you’ll love it and enjoy it much._

_If this is the first day of snow and I can't celebrate it with you, please don’t get sulking. You know I will always come back to you, no matter how. I will make sure that there will be no lonely Winter, no empty Christmas celebration, no sorrow in the cold. I will make sure that we will always have each other’s back, we will enjoy it together, and melt down the ice by sharing warmth. Distance isn’t compatible enough to bring us down and time differences aren't an equal opponent for our love (don’t puke or throw up, I’m just better showing it through written-words)._

_So, Lee Minhyuk, thank you for telling me so openly about your past that day. Thank you for accepting my offer to go on a ride with me that day. Thank you for telling me you have a different taste as mine for ice cream. Thank you for having me until this day and more._

_Have this moment, cherish this precious day as ours._

_A beautiful memory I will always keep in mind and heart._

_Soundlessly, like snow falling, I will have this forever love for you._

  
  


_Cheers to another romantic Winter story of us,_

_The guy who rode a bike with you when it was the first snowfall._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos & comments, i highly appreciate it <3
> 
> get closer here too, if you'd like~  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chaemin151311) or [CuriousCat](https://t.co/rDIH0gL8Us)


	6. Open When You Finished Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When practice is over, Minhyuk will always be in a hurry to be back home. But what is home without Hyungwon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for wasting your two months with no update :( been doing other things lately and the comebacks just time consuming for every one too, right?

“Ki, can we start over?”

The guy mentioned looks up to Minhyuk, raising his eyebrows with a questioning expression. “You sure? Aren’t you tired already?”

“No. Not yet, please, just one more time,” Minhyuk says as he stands up from the floor and drinks up his water. “Joo, c’mon, one more time from the top!”

“Okay…,” the younger just can’t protest as he raises himself from his ass. Kihyun lets out a silent sigh and steals a glance at Jooheon, both sharing the same thoughts. So Jooheon just shrugs off his shoulder and be in his position.

Kihyun plays out the instrument, tunes up the rhythm one more time as Minhyuk and Jooheon facing the mirror and do the choreographies they are preparing for a performance which will be held in a dance competition, around next month.

Minhyuk really dances to it all out, he really puts his heart to the music, feeling alive while his feet and hands move along to the song Kihyun made special for every dance he creates. This time, they will put a lil bit contemporer combined with hip-hop and this time he asked Jooheon to collaborate with him. They both do a single and couple dance, divided into 3 segments.

For two whole months, three of them working on it. Since Kihyun found out about the competition online and drags Minhyuk to give it a chance. “It’s time, Minhyuk. You need to chill down and loosen up a bit,” he said as to persuade Minhyuk to take the shot.

Winter just passed, Spring is around the corner. In January, Minhyuk didn’t have a heart to ‘celebrate’ Hyungwon’s birthday as the guy was still laying on the hospital bed. So he just stayed by his side and wished him the best wishes for him, hoping he will awake soon.

It’s been quite some time too for Minhyuk to finally live out his life again. Changkyun insists he needs to go out and breathe some fresh air. See things from different ways. But somehow, he just can’t. He tries, till now he is still trying to overcome the sadness.

Sometimes he is enjoying a coffee break with Kihyun and Shownu. Having dinners with Hoseok and Changkyun. Getting away by himself to a park, jogging or just simply swinging. Also, he’s having Jooheon accompany him to some places, for a short road trip, some dance classes. By the weekend, the others somehow succeed to bring him into a club. “For stress relief,” they said. But his mind, still, and guess will always stay worried about his boyfriend who seems lifeless on the hospital bed.

It’s been two months that his time is mostly spent dancing and preparing for the competition and during this time, it’s the time for Minhyuk to forget about his dying loneliness for a while, for a moment he washes away all the negative emotions he felt inside. Kihyun always takes care of him, simply because Minhyuk still refused to stay in his house and when it’s not his turn to stay over at the hospital he will sleep at Kihyun and Shownu’s place.

Jooheon. His childhood best friend. Ended up being the “best” company so far. The guy really looks after Minhyuk on a daily basis. Through chat or make a call. Just to keep Minhyuk ‘alive’ with normal conversation. Also, they meet each other during practice two up to three times a week.

But by the end of practice, when he takes a shower, changes clothes, and then walks down the pathways to his staying--alone--is mostly when reality hits his head and his gloomy mood creeps back in. He will be going home to an empty house (when he needs to grab some new clothes from his own apartment), unfamiliar room (when he chooses to stay at Kihyun place), or worst (supposed to be the best) to Hyungwon-his boyfriend who is in a coma.

***

“I am back!” Minhyuk shouted to the hall of his apartment as he closed the door. It’s been two months since they moved in together after dating each other. A smell of delicious dishes came from the kitchen. He peeked in and found Hyungwon humming to some music, cooking something in front of the stove. His ear holes are covered with air-pods.

His steps seemed to be unheard by the latter so he just sneaked his hand to Hyungwon’s waist and laid his head to his back, “I’m starving,” Minhyuk said.

“Gosh! You scared me,” Hyungwon jumped a little from where he stood the moment he felt someone’s hands touch him. Glad he didn’t throw away anything he held or created a mess in the kitchen.

“Sorry,” Minhyuk responded followed by giggles. He let go of his hand and stood by Hyungwon's side to seek a sneak peak of what dishes his boyfriend was preparing. “Since when did you cook?”

“Today is special.”

“What so special?”

“I’ll tell you when dinner is ready. Go take a bath, you're covered with sweat,” Hyungwon kissed Minhyuk temple, hushed him away after faking a disgust expression as he scrunched his nose.

“Well, you love me the most when I am covered with  _ sweat, _ ” Minhyuk grinned and winked his eyes.

Hyungwon raised his eyebrows in shock but he also couldn’t hide his laugh. “That dirty little mind of yours.” He shook his head as Minhyuk walked away from the kitchen to enter their room before finally taking showers.

Hyungwon finished the dishes right the moment when Minhyuk got off from the shower, looking all fresh and handsome. His hair still wet, let some drop along his way to their bedroom. By only tugging a towel around his waist, he made Hyungwon's eyes widen in disbelief and shook his head saying, “You really a tease, Mr. Lee.”

“I usually come out from shower like this, you’re just horny Mr. Chae.” He laughed as he walked in and closed the door of their room. Hyungwon wasn’t given a chance to talk back. Waiting for his boyfriend to finish changing, he sat down at the dining table after setting up all the plates.

“So? What is so special about today?” Minhyuk leaned over his boyfriend and kissed his temple before taking himself a seat beside Hyungwon.

“Let’s eat first.” Hyungwon smiled, but Minhyuk pouted his mouth. He really didn’t like to wait about surprises but proceeded in the end. Because if he’s not, Hyungwon wouldn’t ever tell as well. 

“This is so yummy,” Minhyuk ate a spoonful and talked while still munching his food, “I thought you’ll be the one who burned the kitchen, Wonnie.”

Hyungwon chuckled, a little bit offended, almost choked on his food while swallowing, “Ya! Remember you were the one who left the stove when boiling water and made the kitchen into a disaster??”

“Hehehhehe, of course I remember, but that was one time thing!”

“Yeah, but no more anime watching while cooking, Minnie.”

“Yes,  _ dad _ !” Minhyuk sticked out a tongue as he mocking Hyungwon made the other guy shaked his head. His mind wondered, why he is so in love with this ‘dumb’ baby. In the end, he was just grateful for it. Watching Minhyuk who was eating his homemade dishes with full of appetite shown in his face and having this very moment having conversation in between dinner with the guy.

After they finished eating and did the dishes while playing with water around the kitchen together, they sat down on the couch, leaving the television on as usual while they were actually focusing on each other. Talked about this and that, about the day that just passed.

“So… What is it, Wonnie?? Pleaseeee tell me, I am deadly curious.”

“Hm, okay… So, ehem,” Hyungwon suddenly felt uneasy. His mind telling him what if Minhyuk didn’t feel the same way as he did when he found out about this news.

Minhyuk waited as he let out his puppy eyes. Hyungwon gulped in nervousness, “I have two things to tell you.”

“Is it good or bad?”

“For me it’s both good..”

“So it might be different for me?”

“I hope not. Well, I feel not.”

“Okay, so?”

“One is, my mom just called, and she said she wanted to meet you. Soon. Within this week.”

“WHAT? WHAAT? WHAT NO. NO NO NO NO NO I AM NOT READY HYUNGWON.” Minhyuk panicked as he stood up himself then walked in front of the TV back and forth, hands in his head.

“Will you calm down a bit, please baby?” Hyungwon sighed as he was shocked with Minhyuk’s reaction. 

“How can I???? AAAAAA Won, we just officially dated three months ago, we just moved in two months ago, and now you are saying I am meeting you mom??? Isn't it too fast?”

“It’s not like I am proposing to you soon, though, Min. She just wanted to know, well, she’s dying to meet you ever since I cried to her about you over 2 years.”

“TWO YEARS? You’ve been telling your mom you are in love with me for two years?”

“Yeah…………” Hyungwon felt defeated and embarrassed at the same time.

“It really took you a long time to admit to yourself you are in love with me, huh?”

“Yes. Don’t bring that up again or I’ll regret myself confessing to you.” He threw a smile to his boyfriend and signaled him to sit back down with his head.

Minhyuk took the hint as he walked back and sat down facing Hyungwon, to his previous position. “Okay. We are gonna talk about it again, before your mom really is coming here. Or I will faint in front of her because I’ll be fucking nervous,” he paused, collecting his thoughts, before continue, “what is the other news?”

Hyungwon ran a hand behind his nape and glanced to the ground before taking Minyuk’s both hand, intertwined their fingers, saying, “You know I love you so much, right?”

Minhyuk nodded as answer. Still confused. “You believe that you and this place will always be my home, right?”

“Humm,” he nodded again, now his eyes piercing to Hyungwon as he bent his head to the side.

“I told you before that my job sometimes required me to go overseas, right…?” Hyungwon looked deep into his boyfriend's eyes. But Minhyuk felt his stomach twitch, he didn’t like where this was going so he stayed silent.

“I got a promotion, Minnie…” Hyungwon knew Minhyuk was not a hundred percent happy to hear the news, so he let out a bitter smile, not even realizing that his hands’ hold on Minhyuk became more firm.

***

His hand still latches on Hyungwon when Minhyuk awakes from his nap on the hospital bedside. His mind just showed him a dream of a past. A reminder why Minhyuk actually felt not totally happy about Hyungwon getting his promotion before, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to see his boyfriend as much with the added amount of time for a business trip and it’s true. He thinks he has adjusted to this reality, but seeing Hyungwon laid down in a coma like this made him cursed inside and blamed the cruel fate between him and his boyfriend.

Minhyuk just got back from the dance studio and immediately fell asleep, so now that he’s awake he gets himself ready for a shower. He thinks a lot under the pouring water upon his hair. The overthink kills but he just can’t hold it. It’s been sometimes since he had his mental breakdown the moment he found out about Hyungwon’s accident, Shownu also keeps his promise to take Minhyuk to meet his psychologist then and now. He sticks himself to the schedule to drink up the medicine but sometimes he just wanted to let it all out. The sadness, the breakdowns, the cursing and ranting and all. But each time his mind backs and his eyes lay down to Hyungwon, he reminds himself to be strong for him.

“I’m tired, Wonnie. What if I give up? Will you be mad at me? Will the wait worth everything? Does love really this strong?” He’s crying as he slumps himself down to the floor. Finally letting himself off guard.  
  


A phone call snaps him from his mind. It’s Jooheon. “Hey, what’s up Joo?” Minhyuk cheers, tries to act as if he is not in the mood. Doesn’t want to make the younger worry for him too much.

“Hyung! I know it’s kinda late, but is it okay for me to drop by?”

Minhyuk looks up to the clock hanging on the wall. 11.03 PM. It’s almost midnight and he doesn’t know whether he’ll be able to sleep or not. So he says yes and Jooheon is more than delightful to be the older’s company tonight.

Not long enough, Jooheon comes knocking on the door before entering. “Just come in,” Minhyuk says from inside the room.

“Hey, hyung. Brought your fave here..!” He smiles until his dimples show on his face, raises up the pizza box up to his chest.

“Whoaaaa!” Minhyuk screeches in whisper, as if Hyungwon is only asleep and he is afraid he might wake him up. They sit down on the couch provided inside the room and open the box hungrily.

“I am sorry to bother you late at night.”

“Nah, it’s okay. A company wouldn’t hurt. You should just come here with me after practice though…”

“Yeah, I just thought you need your personal time.”

“With who? Hyungwon? It’s basically me and myself here cause he didn’t even respond.”

“Hyung……”

“That’s the truth, Honey.”

“I’ve been thinking, maybe if you need some company when you have to sleep at your place, I can do that for you.”

“Oh? But I’ve been avoiding my apartment for sometime now. Kihyun even nagged at me to at least do a clean up there, but I just can’t.”

“Yeah, that’s why I can help you. You know, to make you feel less lonely in that place while your Hyungwon is here.”

“Thanks for the offer, Joo, I’ll consider.” Minhyuk ends the topic with another bite of pepperoni pizza he’s been holding. Jooheon just smiles as if he is not aching inside.

_ What should I do, to distract him from this sorrow? _ Jooheon minds keep wondering.

***

Jooheon's presence somehow brings another light to Minhyuk’s face. The younger really put his effort into making his childhood friend smile more often, be happy most of the time, and forgot his sadness for a while now.

There are times when he asks Kihyun to break off the practice just so he can have more time with Minhyuk outside the studio. Go for an ice cream date or have brunch at the nearest bakery shop. Other times, he makes Changkyun persuade Minhyuk to exchange and extend his schedule of staying over for Hyungwon in the hospital just so he can take Minhyuk to an amusement park the whole day. Saying he needs this. He needs an adrenaline rush to let himself out, screaming, or even crying. And somehow, Minhyuk just couldn’t resist as he appreciated much of the younger’s effort to fill in the empty gap in his heart these recent moments.

So when he finally eases down a bit, after one time practice, he agrees for Jooheon to take him back home to his place after weeks or even months.

***

“I’m home!!” Minhyuk's voice filled up the living room when he entered the apartment as if someone was inside to welcome him. He knew he was alone, because Hyungwon who just got promoted was already set off to Thailand two days ago and would be gone for two weeks straight.

He sighed as he slumped his body on the couch. Lazily turned on the television and searched for some anime to watch. He didn’t even bother to take a bath cause he was too damn tired with the new routine his choreographer gave him for the next showcase. This time he wouldn’t be performing with Kihyun as the composer, but tagged along with some of his college mates.

He watched the television after ordering some delivery, chicken for this night was enough he thought to himself. He almost fell asleep when his phone suddenly rang and his hand reached out to the table beside him, answering the call without seeing the caller ID.

“Eung? Hi, be there in a minute.” Minhyuk said as he thought it was the delivery man, in front of his apartment door.

“Hey, Min! You are going somewhere?” the other line of the phone responded.

“Huh?” Minhyuk shocked himself as he recognized the voice, then back away his phone to look at the name shown.

“Ah, Wonnie.... Sorry, I didn’t see the ID. Why do you call?”

“Who do you think I am? Hahaha, you fell asleep, did you?”

“Hu-uh.. I thought you were the delivery man. Sorry…”

“Did you shower?”

“Not yet.”

“You stink.”

“Thanks.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“I am at the door.”

“Huh?”

“I am at the door, Lee Minhyuk.”

“WHAT? How??” Minhyuk stood up in shock, as he rushed himself to the door. The phone line was cut off when Minhyuk peeked through the hole at the door and saw Hyungwon stood there beautifully with a plastic bag of chicken carried. He clicked and turned the key to open the door and smile widely from ears to ears.

“YOU’RE HOME!”

“I am.” Hyungwon hugged back his boyfriend as tight as the other put his arms wrapped around his shoulder. Minhyuk let go after some minutes and leaned his forehead to Hyungwon’s while their nose touched each other’s. He really was happy.

“You really do stink,” Hyungwon broke the silence between them and laughed. Minhyuk slapped his shoulder and acted like he was annoyed.

“You’re not romantic at all. I hate you.” Before he could slip away from his boyfriend, Hyungwon grabbed his waist and kissed him deep.

“But, I love you still.” He replied once he parted away their lips and Minhyuk blushed, surprised by Hyungwon's sudden action.

“Shower with me?” Hyungwon blurted out a question and winked. Minhyuk’s mouth agape, could not resist as he gasped in shock.

“No. I want to eat first.”

“Ugh, Min, c’mon, be clean first then eat. Please…” Hyungwon pouted his lips and begged with his eyes. Sometimes he just couldn’t stand Minhyuk’s dirty habit.

“... Fine.”

“By the way, why are you home? Didn’t you say you’ll be gone for two weeks?”

“The conference got cancelled, so we just went there for two nights wrapping all the meeting and concall.”

“Oh… And how did my chicken with you?”

“I met the delivery man at the lobby saying he’ll deliver to our room. So I take it.”

“Okay, let’s shower.”

***

Comes out fresh from the shower, Jooheon is going to annoy Minhyuk as he usually does with his older friend, but while walking approaching the living room he stops his way in front of the sofa. The latter is sleeping.

“Hyung?” Jooheon wakes Minhyuk up, slowly tapping his cheek and caresses his arms as he starts to shiver in his sleep. Besides, Minhyuk hasn’t taken a shower after they got back from the studio.

“Hyung, wake up, are you okay?” He is panicked as Minhyuk’s eyes begin to shed tears down to his cheeks, his lips tremble and his body shivering is getting worse. But Minhyuk is not giving any response, he keeps crying in his sleep. Curling himself, knees closer to his chest and let out some sobs, while his head shaking as he keeps saying in his sleep, “Please, no, no, I can’t do this. I am not worth it. I can’t do well, I just can’t.”

Jooheon finds himself dumbfounded with the scene. He really doesn’t know what to do. It’s late at night and he doesn’t really know who to reach, so he pleases himself to take a blanket from Hyungwon-Minhyuk’s room and covers the older with it, wraps it all over his body. He sits down next to Minhyuk, palms caressing the back of the older.

“I am here, Minhyuk-hyung. I am here.” He whispers, more like to himself.

***

#####  _#6: Open When You Finished Practice_

_ Hellow my favorite dancer! _

_ If you are reading this one, it means I am not at home to welcome you back home after your practice. So I guess, my words will be enough for a while, accompany you, okay baby? _

_ How is today’s routine? Did you learn some new cool moves? Is it hard for you or is it easy weezy as you usually do? _

_ I can’t wait to see what you are preparing now. How will the performance be with this new project you are working on, I am deadly curious as I always did. _

_ Because you know what, Min, seeing you dancing makes me happy--cause you are happy doing it. Dance becomes a part of you that I am loving it each day, deeper and deeper. I am very fond of it. It’s something that can never be separated from you. Like a full package. _

_ How you stood there on stage every time you performed makes me crave for what’s next. Like reading an on-going fiction and you just couldn’t help it to stay still and wait for the next chapter to be updated. Because seeing your body moves along to the music, moves me. You show your charmed through every step, lock, and break. So please tell me, how is today practice? Will I see a new side of you in between the new choreography you just learned? _

_ I am happy to see how the sweat covered all over your body every time you walked in back home and I am there to open the door for you. It’s like you gathered new energy, freshen up, and fully-charged battery that makes you smile from ears to ears. Your face lightened up along with its red flush due to tiredness, but it wasn’t shown in your face. I can just find a very cheerful expression in your face. Or maybe it’s because you see me, then it makes you happier? Hihihi. _

_ Even though Lee Mihyuk, I have to tell you the truth that you do smell unpleasant after practice. Sooooo now, after you read this (cause I know you won’t do it immediately, right after you entered our place), TAKE A SHOWER PLEASE BABY. _

_ Cause your look after freshen up by the clean water and smell like vanilla soap with your baby cologne is waaaaaayy better and inviting. If you know what I mean. ;) _

_ Not that I protested you covered in sweat after practice, cause that sight also proves me that you are satisfied and glad and proud doing what you love with all your heart. And it shows me that I am having a perfect boyfriend who is very passionate with his own purpose in life and always breaks his leg to give the best side of him while reaching and living his dream. _

_ Babe, thank you for doing great, always, okay? I give you a hand-written letter for you after practice too, just because I want you to know that you will always improve. Cause practice makes perfect, remember? _

_ In the end, I promise you, all the hard work you did will be paid off and it will be worth it for your future. Whatever comes, I will always do my best to be the best supporter you have. _

_ Don’t forget to drop your practice video from the studio today! _

_ I insist and don't want to take long time to wait. _

_ Your forever support, _

_ Hyungwon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me, please!  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chaemin151311) or [CuriousCat](https://t.co/rDIH0gL8Us)


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